Four years ago I met my first love, although we tried our hardest we were to young, to immature, and to unstable in our own minds to try and involve another person in our crazy worlds. Friends was a good word for us, but safety nets is a better word. We were right there to catch each other, whenever one of us felt broken, we relied on each other to put the pieces back together.. And so on we did just that for almost 5 years. Falling and catching each other over and over then watching while they ended up in someone else's arms.
We found our own loves, both were in stable relationships for nearly two years and eventually realized that there were more negative consequences in the long run than positive.. We fell, broken, and came running back to each other again.. With a difference, this is time we actually tried to make things work, and they are.
Now I know you all don't want to hear my sappy "we lost each other and years later fell right back in love" story, but this truly is what love should feel like.
When you love someone you should not be faking happiness, you should not lie to people and say that everything is fine when its not. Love is not controlling, it is not over bearing. Love is not about making your partner feel worse about themselves. You can love someone completely and sincerely cannot be with them, I love you if your reading this, 143 doesn't change, I just need to do whats best for me. What we had was wrong, this is right...
This is love, sacrificing your bad habits, waiting while he goes to serve his country, being faithful, being honest, being true because when you love someone you have to find happiness in not only him but yourself, and when love is strong they can make you truly happy, and I am that now.
I have fallen back in love with my first true love, he is a United States Marine and leaving soon to go serve. I am proud, and fearful for my baby. That being said I know that this is his dream, and he is living the life he talked about countless times as we grew up together. I am amazed by you baby, your going to come home and I know when you do I will be laying in our bed together with you again every night. Baby when you get home we will be ten times more perfect then we already are, no more fear, no more worries. You make me strong and as hard as it will be while your gone I know I'll be surrounded by you everyday when I go home, and that there will be people there who remind me of you constantly. I will sleep in your shirt each night, just like I do now, I'll be strong while I wait because you taught me how to be strong my sweet Marine. You make me feel real, you give me hope. You give me that small spark in my heart that doesn't burn me down, but lifts me up. Makes me feel every single bit of emotion I have for you deep inside my heart. Baby you make me feel safe, loved, protected, strong, free... I am never as happy as I am when I fall asleep beside you and wake up on the other side of the bed, and your still beside me with your arms around me. I love the way you never let me walk outside at night so you know nobody fucks with me, I love the way you fight me for the Ipod in the truck, I just love you baby, I love you. People stare when we say we love each other, they think its crazy since we have technically have not been together long, but we have been loving each other nearly 5 years baby, and I would not trade our past for anything because they taught us how to be in a relationship the wrong ways, and we learned from our mistakes what to not do. You make me feel like I did freshman year and you turn me into the girl I was, that sad part of me has disappeared and I don't know how you did it but maybe my "Magic" is contagious, either that or my lucky cigarette does work <3
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